How to Connect with Parents of Children with Special Needs

A supportive community is a must-have when you’re raising a child with special needs.

And while your friends and family can certainly be there for you in some aspects, there’s simply no substitute for connecting with other parents who are on a similar path.

These parents will be able to grasp what you’re going through in a way that your other friends simply can’t. They’ll understand the daily challenges you endure, because they endure them, too. You won’t always have to explain how you’re feeling, because they’ll already know.

To get started, here are three ways to connect and develop lasting relationships with other parents of children with special needs:

1. Join a support group. A support group is ideal because everyone in attendance is on the same path. They are all feeling isolated and alone, and they are all looking for support. To find a group in your area, ask your child’s school for a referral or search online. Once you find a support group you feel comfortable with, I encourage you to attend each meeting. Consistency is key to building lasting relationships.
2. Arrange play dates with other children with special needs. Ask your child’s school to put you in touch other parents of children with special needs, and arrange a play date. As your children play together, you and the parents can bond as well.
3. Participate in school-sponsored groups. Take advantage of school-sponsored organizations designed to support parents of children with special needs. For example, District 15 has SPARK: Special Education Parents Accessing Resources and Knowledge. It meets monthly, and is a prime opportunity to get involved and meet other parents. Ask the school administration about your district’s organizations. If none are available, it’s a great opportunity to start one!

Creating Balance: The Importance of Self-Care

Self-care is important for all parents, but when you’re raising a child with special needs, it becomes absolutely critical.

Caring for a child with special needs tends to require all of your energy. It’s emotionally draining and physically exhausting – and it never stops.

Because it’s such a demanding job, it’s challenging for parents of special needs children to find time for self-care. They end up putting themselves last on the to-do list, and their mental, emotional, and physical health suffers.

To avoid this, here are some simple ways to incorporate self-care into your daily routine:

1. Schedule 15 minutes a day. It’s a common misconception that self-care requires a ton of time. In reality, 15 minutes is all you need! Use that time to read a book, take a walk, soak in the bath, talk to a friend, or write in your journal.
2. Simplify. Pay attention to how you spend each day, and look for ways to simplify, eliminate, and delegate. For example, do you really need to volunteer for the PTA bake sale this weekend, or would you rather spend the weekend playing with your kids and taking care of yourself? There’s nothing wrong with saying no every once in a while.
3. Ask for help. Have you ever noticed that we’re quick to offer help, but reluctant to ask for it? Break the cycle, and understand that there is no shame in asking for help! Trust me – most people love to lend a hand.
4. Take care of your body. Eat well, exercise, and prioritize sleep – even if it means taking a short nap during the day. Refuse to eat processed foods that don’t nurture your mind and body. And remember, you can overcome almost anything – as long as you take care of yourself first and foremost.

Special Children: Our Greatest Teachers

Children with special needs offer us a unique opportunity to see the world through a new lens. And in my 20+ years of experience as a special needs parent and coach, I have come to see that they truly are the world’s greatest teachers.

Here are just a few of the profound lessons special children teach us on a daily basis:

1. The definition of determination. You haven’t witnessed true determination until you’ve watched a child with special needs. They have to work so much harder than the rest of us to accomplish tasks – but that just makes the victory so much sweeter.
2. The importance of celebrating small successes. Special children appreciate all of their victories, because they had to work so hard to accomplish them. Watching them celebrate small successes reminds us to do the same.
3. The meaning of unconditional love. Raising my daughter and working with special children over the years has taught me the true meaning of unconditional love. It is pure and light and without judgment.
4. They remind us to stop comparing. We have nothing to gain by comparing our children to anyone else. True acceptance comes from honoring our children for who they are, and celebrating their individual successes.
5. They are very special human beings. God has not overlooked these children – He has blessed them with a myriad of unique gifts and talents. It’s our job as their parents to celebrate these gifts, and remind our children of how special they truly are.